Ten minutes of Bucket of Nerds hilariousness!On January 13, 2008, Nellie, Teresa, and Elizabeth played around at the Improv Jam at Second City, and then hit Schubas to see their friends in another great stand-up show at Your Sunday Best. Then the hunt was on for urgent midnight waffles.

A summary of select highlights:

• Can you speak in internet emoticons?
• Celebrity crushes.
• Does Oprah have a spaceship?
• Funniest thing heard all day: "Which one of you slammable dick caves wants to go home with me tonight?" (Courtesy of Mike Burns.)
• Ryan Reynolds is very good-looking.
• Elizabeth's bad waffle tastes like cats.
• Nobody cares Elizabeth is from Indiana.
• Teresa and Nellie taste the bad waffle, agree it's like tongue-bathing a litter of calicos.
• Teresa uses a Southern accent to ask, "will dipping the waffle in ranch make it not horrible?"
• No.
• Nellie is accused of being a Second City hipster.
• David Letterman is our favorite funny uncle who's busy to hang with us, but he was not Sesame Street's "Letter Man."
• Nellie's morning yawn sounds like a baby pterodactyl, which is almost a tribute to another of our favorite comedians, Maria Bamford.
• Elizabeth mocks her own poor navigational skills in character as an old, angry, vaguely Eastern European man.
• Nellie wonders about the real meaning of "doesn't know their ass from hole in the ground."
• Elizabeth suggests flashcards to acquaint oneself with the difference between the two.
• Why are loud annoying televisions being shoved down our throats at gas stations and grocery stores these days?
• An impromptu rendition of the Beach Boys' "In My Room."

Bucket of Nerds features Nellie Ann, Teresa Lemaire, and Elizabeth McQuern.

 bucketofnerds.blogspot.com

Post-comedy show chatter is a always a mishmash, but at Chicago Underground Comedy, there are always a lot of passionate nerdy discussions. In this segment: "Lost" theories -- the little-explored "WWII doom scientists" backstory, the "accelerated psychic abilities" theory, who cares who kisses Kate? Jared Logan, Ricky Carmona, and Elizabeth McQuern love Star Trek, but Dan Telfer thinks the hot Borg chick is called "7, 8, 9," and can't get into things his parents were nerds about -- but was still scared by Dr. Who "garbage bags with lizard masks." Jared thinks Star Trek beats Star Wars by a mile. All agree that the final three Star Wars movies ruined the first three. Jared describes George Lucas as a "P.T. Barnum, Henry Ford, anti-semitic piece of crap." And no, the recording isn't skipping, there were lots of f*bombs that needed to be edited out. These are comedians, people.

Chicago Underground Comedy is the most fun you can have on a Tuesday for five bucks. Check out this little behind-the-scenes peek at the Halloween 2007 show, wherein Ricky Carmona goes all "Dark Knight" (AKA Batman), Jared Logan is annoyed that no one can tell he's Frankenstein even before the spirit gum wears off his neck bolts, Dan Telfer talks about his zombie stand-up set inspiring an audience member to run out of the room vomiting, and Robert Buscemi explains the rich personal history of his lesbian Unitarian minister character, "Earth Sky Fish Pants." Or "Earth Mother Wind Sock." Or "Earth Sister Mother Star." Whatever the hell her name is. (Produced by Elizabeth McQuern.)