A male Vocalero complains that anytime he gives a woman a "complament" on the street they think it is harrasment. Is saying "oh you are so pretty" to a woman on the street, acceptable? Is it possible for it to be nice or is it always indimidating?
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I just heard the audio clip that inspired this discussion. Rule number one -- never yell at anyone while they are riding a bike or doing something like that.
In general, these types of situations are just instances of miscommunication.
Women are intimidated by whatever the man is saying to them. If our gentleman's language isn't the cause of the bad reactions, it could be his body language.
The man has to learn another way of complimenting women without making them leery that he has ulterior motives in his communication. Maybe he should hold off on making compliments while he evaluates his communication style. Remember -- don't yell at women walking or biking by. It isn't cool.
The way to overcome the communication barrier is going to be practice.
What our gentleman needs to do is start smiling and making small chit chat with female wait staff and store clerks. The key is to keep the topics light and away from the "compliments" that are causing the problems.
Wait staff and sales clerks are paid to be pleasant, so he doesn't have to worry that they will run away from him if he says hello and tries to make a little small talk while buying lunch or purchasing something.
If the clerks run away and call security, then our gentleman knows that there is something seriously wrong with his communication skills and he might need to seek some professional help his interpersonal skills.
More likely, he just needs to develop his self-confidence so that he doesn't send off "bad vibes" to women through his body language.
Getting comfortable by communicating with strangers during his daily business interactions will help him to figure out a pleasant, self-confident, and non-threatening communication style that will draw people to him, unlike his current style.
Once he's comfortable with himself, he might even find women coming up to him making their own compliments.
Shannon 